You will change when hell finally gets so hot you begin to burn.
You do the same thing, day after day, decade after decade, until you can no longer deny the futility of your plan. Everyone who cared to prop you up has gone. To be near you is to burn.
Your grief and sadness have morphed into self-hatred, which you treat with as many addictions as you can afford. You run out of face-saving ideas, so you punish. You isolate. You terrorize with your self-pity. In turn, your consequences crush you.
Your selfishness, fear, and aggression have bored even your raging ego. You see yourself for what you are: a child in a perpetual state of fit. You’re not different. You’re not special. You’re not complicated.
Your problems aren’t complex. But thinking they are makes you feel powerful, in control. You abuse the power God gifted you and turn it into a weapon against yourself and your brothers and sisters.
The joke is on you. Your giant ego is the joke. Giving up is the last choice you have left before the game is called by the Referee on high.
This is when you will change.
When you’re nothing.
When you can’t feel, can’t love, can’t forgive. Can’t buy, can’t sleep, can’t get high or low. Can’t get near enough or far enough away from anyone. Can’t take care of yourself. Can’t fix it.
This is when you give up. Or, die.
The road out of hell is one way with no exits. It’s the way of God. The way of Light. The way of Forgiveness, Sanctification, and Redemption.
It can’t be earned or stolen. You can only accept it, surrender, and allow yourself to be taken over by all that is Good. And then, with the ease of the All-Powerful, you are reborn. You get a new life.
Everything that came before dies. It’s not even a fight. It disappears into the ether of all that’s sinister and dark—absorbed into and transmuted by the greater force of Kindness and Love.
You came from Love. You are Love. You will always, only ever be Love. Fragile, tender, vulnerable Love.
It will be enough to change you.
Quote: I was living at a level of consciousness, a vibration, that was approaching that of death. Bill Hicks
Song Accompaniment: love me like you used to, Nic D
2025 Accompaniments Playlist – Apple Music
2025 Accompaniments Playlist – Spotify
Read next:
Despair Is The Breakthrough, An Essay Made Of Quotes